If we had just one piece of advice to give...: The Delights of Distraction No.99

It's been a month of cyclones, heat waves, and all the weather machinations of ever looming climate change doom: we hope you are safe and comfortable, reading this in air-conditioned environs.  

The month has been quite action-packed for us over at The Wishing Chair. We launched a store in Surat, visited some new workshops a few hours from Delhi to sample a new product range, are experimenting with different distribution channels and doing some things outside our comfort zone.

And by the latter, we mean that over the last month we are trying not to be as uncomfortable on camera as we have been over the last decade. In the past, if ever we were we were asked to pose for a photo as founders or perhaps film a live video interview, the request was always met with a mix of dismissal, horror and anguish, a guttural "Ohhhh God no", escaping from our lips. Instead, we would furnish an old photograph of the both of us from 15 years ago, smiling and sweaty at a party, looking the opposite of professional, but happy, still in blissful ignorance of the world of Instagram and maintaining an "image". Still unschooled in the the idea that business promotion was as much about self-promotion too. (See Linkedin and Shark Tank for reference.)

Well, this time we bit the bullet and while we were in Gujarat did some video promotions and even filmed interview on our journey over the last decade, answering questions about how we started, why "this" particular business and how to navigate friendship and business.  One of the last questions we were asked was about advice we would give to aspiring entrepreneurial women, and our answer was about businesses being like babies that you have to learn to let go, and not be a reflection of yourself. 

That answer was fine. But if we could redo the interview, maybe we would provide an addendum to this answer. We always imagine once we start something, it's going to be a runaway success. Which is why we start it in the first place. But the world is a wild, unpredictable, uncontrolled environment over which we have little control. So our best advice, which was funnily enough concretized by listening to a podcast by Francesca Grossman , who doesn't talk about entrepreneurship at all, but about chronic pain, is : When you have the choice, choose kind.

One thing we imagine we all have as a relatively privileged lot, is a lot of choices in life. We think we control most of what happens to us. But this is an illusion. All it takes is one algorithm change, one investment gone wrong, one tax filing gone awry, one bad day, and things can spiral fast. You don't get to choose when your dad dies or when a hurricane hits, or when your big client drops you, or your husband's funds dry up. You rarely get to choose what will happen, even if you prepare and plan and practice.

Of course, we can do things to steer the ship a bit, but the truth is: the world makes a lot of our choices for us, and our reactions define us more than anything else. When we feel small or victimized or like the universe is conspiring against us, it is easy to fall into a place where we want to pull away from the world, to form ourselves into a tight knot and retreat. It's particularly hard when it seems like no one else is going through our particular brand of hardship, where everyone else's successes are brandished across our swiping eyes.  We get angry. We get tired. And sometimes, we get mean.

This is the place where we do have a choice. We can react to things with the venom that is coursing through us. Or we can be kind, which is sometimes a heroic act. 

Love is big.

But kindness is small.

Offering a shoulder to cry on. A hug. Reaching out instead of pulling back. A genuine compliment. Paying attention and asking, "are you okay?". A spontaeneous gift. A favour. A smile, nod and acknowledgement. Listening. 

Small kindness can have huge impacts. 

And now, on to our programming: