We are back : The Delights Of Distraction No.97

We're Viv and Ami, co-founders of The Wishing Chair Design studio and your weekly curators of internet ephemera and interesting stuff we like to share here in hopes that it brings a little joy to your day. 

 Hey there you wonderful, patient reader…we are back from our monthssss long hiatus. We hope you missed us just a fraction of how much we missed you, that you felt there was just a teeny, tiny void in your inbox (or let’s face it, your promotional folder) when we weren’t slipping into it once a week. If you are reading this - thank you! We are so grateful that you've stuck around. 

Okay - so why did we just ghost you like a twenty-something Tinder date with an OYO room discount card? Well to start with, sorry: it's not you, its us.  And one of the reasons was that we were ambivalent about how to continue the newsletter in a way that felt transparent and authentic and where we could honestly share much of the heartache that's inevitably linked with being a human in the world. Especially that particular, distinctive heartache that goes with being Indian female founders. Putting our minor miseries to page, and sharing it with all of you, is a form of picking up the pieces and mending a heart that breaks with every pitfall that life throws at us.

But we weren't sure all of you as readers were really into that.  Whether it was our responsibility to put a Linked-in approved positive spin on things everytime we had a setback or our hearts were heavy.  Our last email was a vulnerable reckoning with the non-linear path to healing in the wake of a father's death - and some of you may have felt it was too...much. So we took a step back, because we weren't sure how to be authentic and true at the same time, while also being...less. We hmmed and hawwed for months trying to think this through, how to achieve this balance, but honestly we couldn't come up with anything better, so we figured we'd bite the bullet send this off and ask you to decide.  

Because there's no point writing into an abyss. This doesn't make sense unless you, Alex,continue to love reading this. So we are here to listen! Please hit reply on this email and so let us know what kind of newsletter you would like. 

More links or less? More personal introductions to our week or just get to the link goodies? More art, poetry and literature or more entrepreneur advice? 

Please do let us know and we'll do everything within our purview to get you the newsletter the newsletter you want.

And now - back to our weekly programming. Our favourite stuff from the week :)

We think that Rom Coms and the coupledom push towards nuclear families,  has made us all overly reliant of and emotionally overinvested in romantic relationships, much to the fallout of other relationships in our life, especially our friendships.

This piece lists a bunch of recent research showing that friendships are critically essential to health and happiness. “A six-year study of 736 middle-aged Swedish men found having a life partner didn’t affect the risk of heart attack or fatal coronary heart disease – but having friends did. A 10-year Australian study found that older people with a lot of friends were 22 percent less likely to die during the study period than those with few friends. Notably, having a social network of children and relatives did not affect survival rates.”

Preaching to the choir here, buddy!

If there’s one thing that’s defined the new adulthood in the information age, it's that there’s no excuse to stop learning. Whether it’s a Youtube video on how to create a papier mache lamp, or a series of lectures on honing your critical thinking skills.  Here's a long list of educational links from all around the web, including YouTube channels, podcasts, blogs, online courses, coding schools, and books. 

We fail at love largely because we are profoundly shaped by our formative attachments.  Those of us who grew up with insecurity, unpredictability and violence from those tasked to love us and emulate what love looks like for us will eventually feel hopelessly helpless at love. They are unconsciously replicating the emotional patterns of those familiar relationship dynamics known as "limbic attractors" only to emerge again and again from failed relationships with shame and self-loathing. 

But through this eyes of this short Insta-graphic illustration, there is no greater consolation for that feeling that one is not alone in the helplessness, that there is a way through, past and beyond.

If the person who named Walkie Talkies, named everything, we would have the following lexicon:

Stamps- Lickie Stickie

Defibrillators - Hearty Starty

Bumble bees - Fuzzy Buzzy 

Hippos - Floatie Bloatie

Pregnancy test -  Maybe Baby

Bra - Breastie Nestie (or Boulder holder)

Fork  - Stabby Grabby

Socks - Feetie Heatie 

Nightmare -  Screamy Dreamy

Cat - Furry Purry

Life Hacks 💪

Tech: Here is a little trick we found so far to get reliable informational answers from your chatbot or AI of choice 1) Ask it to find the experts on whatever material you are seeking. 2) Then ask it to answer your questions in the voice of those experts. This someone elevates the responses to something more meaningful. 

Health: There's some much stuff out there from Pranayam to Tai Chi that we can imagine the world of Breathwork is hard to navigate. There are many methods and the physical effects of those methods vary widely. This infographic created by Kyle Kowalski of Sloww Sunday does a great job of describing different breathing practices to help master your nervous system and down-regulate anxiety. Try the Physiological Sigh - a full inhalation followed by a relaxed sigh. It could work wonders to slow down the racing thoughts in your head. 

Mental Health: You are not alone:

"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive."

- James Baldwin

Words we ❤️ (on love & longing)

To love someone is firstly to confess: I'm prepared to be devastated by you.

- Billy-Ray Belcourt

The number of hours we have 

together is actually not so

large. Please linger near the

door uncomfortably instead of

just leaving. Please forget your

scarf in my life and come back

later for it.

 - Mikko Harvey

For M

"It's not myself I hand over to you - that would to be too simple - what i hand over to you is yourself,  yourself  loved in every part."

 - John Berger

From A to X

Nhó Vietnamese

"In Vietnamese, the word for missing someone and remembering them is the same: nhó. Sometimes, when you ask me over the phone, Con nho me không? I flinch, thinking you meant, Do you remember me?

I miss you more than I remember you."

- Ocean Vuong

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

Thanks for reading, and for being here.

 Till our next words, the world be yours!

With love, Viv & Ami

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